Financial compatibility is one of the UK’s top priorities when it comes to looking for a partner, with two-thirds (66%) of couples looking for someone in line with them in both the bedsheets and the spreadsheets. 

Money talk has benefits for the average couple, according to Starling Bank’s research, with 44% of couples saying that doing so had a positive long-term impact on their bank balances. In fact, most couples (84%) are as transparent about their finances as they are about their sexual history.

But money talk isn’t always easy, according to Starling’s findings, with Valentines in long-term relationships often putting their lives on hold due to differing opinions on household spending. One in seven couples have put off buying a home due to a lack of financial alignment (14%), while one in ten have delayed having children or getting married.

And while financial alignment is a key priority for people in the UK, singles heading for their first date are warned not to give too much away as talking about your salary on a first date has triple the ick factor (27%) as talking about politics (8%) or marriage (8%), and only behind talking about an ex (41%).

Let’s Talk Money

To help both singletons and established couples communicate better and improve their relationship with money, Starling has created an interactive tool that helps people identify and understand their ‘money language’, and offers advice on how to better communicate with other money languages. The tool aims to strengthen financial communication and help couples build stronger long-term foundations. 

Becca Stroud, personal finance expert at Starling Bank, said: “We have Love Languages, and now we have Money Languages, which we’ve created to give couples the vocabulary they need to talk about their finances.”

Notes to editors 

Starling commissioned Mortar Research to poll 2,040 national representative respondents who are in a long-term romantic relationship (1+ years) between the 4th and 6th of November 2025.

* Starling’s Money Languages 

Money Know How

You’re an open book, talking about money openly and honestly. You’re known as the one that’s ‘good with money’ - not necessarily because you earn lots of it, but because you’re good at making the money that you do have work for you. You’re often seeking out new trends, tools and techniques. And nothing fazes you – you see money as empowering rather than something to be avoided or feared. Your financial IQ inspires friends and loved ones to get to grips with their own finances and you like to act as their cheerleader. After all, to you, money empowers relationships.

Scarcity Mindset 

You get a sense of security from saving money and having cash in the bank. This means you don’t always enjoy spending money as it can make you feel uneasy and insecure. Necessities, fine. But you often struggle with treating yourself and justifying unplanned, spontaneous costs. While you’re a prudent saver, sometimes this gets in the way of the life you want to lead. Don’t forget generosity and a small degree of frivolous spending (“go on, let’s have another one!”) can be fun. As for luxury items like travel, your “but the bus to the airport works perfectly fine,” attitude may not always click with a partner or travel companion who places comfort and ease higher up on their agenda. Remember to check in with others on their preferences – and don't assume that everyone is as budget conscious as you.

Financial Avoidance

You prefer to bury your head in the sand when it comes to your finances and hate talking about money – you find it intrusive - and even avoid learning more about your behaviours. You often spend or behave emotionally rather than rationally, even when you know that one simple act, such as checking your bank balance, could stop you from going in the red. Be careful - this could leave your partner, friends and loved ones feeling shut out or like they’re walking on eggshells when bringing up money chat. Remember that money conversations can be as empowering as they can be difficult.

Protecting Privacy

For you, a common theme is that you hide your financial situation from others, whether that’s sneaky savings, spending habits or your salary. Don’t worry, often this is driven by a desire for independence and/or a fear that you could be taken advantage of. However, bear in mind that hiding information from others could come across as distrustful. It’s not always a bad thing, – sometimes you “revenge save” and surprise a friend or loved one with a gift. But if you have financial secrets that are weighing you down, remember that a problem shared can be a problem halved.

Lifestyle Enrichment

‘YOLO’ is your middle name. You enjoy spending money on upping your lifestyle and enjoying every day – whatever the cost. You tend to live in the moment when it comes to decision making and you prefer not to think too far ahead. If you’re in the Gen Z or Millennial generation, perhaps traditional finance goals (like home ownership) feel out of reach, and maybe even less appealing than spending on experiences. ‘Lifestyle Enrichment’s may struggle to relate to people who are thriftier. You place a high value on shared experiences, cutting budgets in other areas to enable this. For some people, this will be the right lifestyle fit for a partner, for others, this could create tension.

Extravagant Affirmation

You love to spend money on others rather than yourself, even if there’s no money to spend. You have an attitude of “nothing is too good” for your partner or friends, and you don’t let pragmatism get in the way of friendships or romance! While this might sound like it’s coming from a place of caring, sometimes this can mask an insecurity that you’re not “enough”. Extravagant Affirmations connect money very strongly to romance and friendships, and strive to make their partner feel cherished. Don’t let your generosity be to your detriment; it’s not about people pleasing, but mutually improving your relationship.

Acts of Finance

You show affection and love through giving and spending money on others, as you believe it’s your responsibility to provide. You try to make sure your loved ones have what they need financially, whether that’s to cover essentials or sometimes even bigger experiences. You may also take a lot of time and effort into selecting gifts for others thoughtfully, as you derive a lot of enjoyment from spending on others and showing them that you really care. You may find it difficult to relate to individuals who are fiercely financially independent and sometimes forget to think about your own needs.